Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
