i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Randomize
