Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Randomize
