hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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