sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize