Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
