We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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