ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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