Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
My bed is full of blood and feathers
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
