so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
