a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I cut my penus on the lid.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Randomize
