he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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