haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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