I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
