i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
