Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
