But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
