The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
