At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
