yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
