I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
