do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Just high enough for therapy.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Randomize
