I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
