My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Randomize
