how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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