Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
