Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Shame - the story of my life.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize