i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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