quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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