I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize