dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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