Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
