The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
