no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
