but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
