Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
You're like the curious george of whores
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
