He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
