I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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