I must be too annoying 4 u.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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