Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Randomize
