I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
