Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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