dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize
