my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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