my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
