no, he came in my armpit
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
