i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
He better not be in your backpack
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
