You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
We are two peas in an std pod
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Randomize
