told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
