fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
