I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
