respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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