Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
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