11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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