Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
