how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
