he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
