im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
