She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
