arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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