you would pick up someone in the library
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
