so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
