When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
