Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
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