I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
