I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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