i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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