if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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