i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize