If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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