I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
