Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize