She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
