u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
