I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize