Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
You took a bar mat shot.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
