In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
