I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
