What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Randomize
