Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
