kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
